Derick, this one's for you!

I miss Derick today.  

This week I miss different things than I have in the past.  

I have always missed him when it's time to go someplace.  It's stressful for one person to get 4 kids ready to go.  My kids are fairly self-sufficient, but they need a little extra motivation sometimes, like most kids do.  On Sunday mornings I miss being able to ask him to load my bike for the Sunday afternoon ride at church.  Or to get the kids in the car while I finish up my makeup.  I miss riding in the passenger seat instead of the driver's seat EVERY TIME I get in the car!  

I miss him at night.  Sometimes at night I start to feel numb.  I know in my head I need to get the kids in bed but I can't force myself to move in that direction.  Sometimes, it's 10:00 before everyone makes it to bed.  (I think I'm more anxious for summer than the kids are!)  I miss him after the kids are in bed.  Night time is lonely sometimes.  It sucks to go to bed alone every night.  The bed is big and cold and lonely.  

I miss his strong arms around me whenever I need them.  I miss the smell of his neck when he hugs me and his breath in my ear when he whispers, "Hey beautiful! I love you! I missed you today!"  And I really miss his kisses.  Everyday! 

Believe it or not, I miss having to get up at 5:00am on the first morning of drill to give him a haircut because we didn't make time earlier in the week.  I miss seeing him in uniform when I pick him up after drill.  I love the feeling of security I get from being with him in public when he is in uniform!  I love how he stands at attention whenever he puts that uniform on.  It is automatic!  And it is sexy!

This week I discovered, more than ever, a new thing that I really miss and that is just having another parent in the house.  Not just another adult, but another parent.  I missed him yesterday when Brody and I were late to Tball because he had to go to the bathroom.  Again.  And my mom took Al so he could be on time.  I missed him tonight when I stayed home to do hair and Uncle Chad took Christian to baseball and cheered him on from the sidelines.  I'll miss him tomorrow when I need to take Aida shopping and I have to decide what to do with the other 3. 

I will miss him like crazy at my sister's wedding on Saturday! 

I'll miss him when I'm doing hair and I have to find a babysitter for the kids instead of being able to leave them home with him to get ready.  I'll miss him when I walk down the isle and he's not standing opposite me with the groomsmen.  Ill miss him when I get to see a printed copy of the program.  My sister showed me this yesterday:

The bottom center says this and it made me cry:

I feel truly honored that my husband has a place on the program along side the tributes to my Grandma Katie, my Grandma Melva and my cousin Tommy. 

I'll miss him when the reception starts and I don't have a dance partner.  I love dancing with Derick!  We have dreams of taking ballroom lessons but every time we decide we're going to, either I'm pregnant or he's leaving.  

I guess this is the reason I got my tattoo.  To remind me of the hope that I have.  A hope that anchors my soul.  Not in Derick but in God himself.  I know I'll make it.  The kids will make it.  We are almost halfway done! I can't believe it!  

Time flies when you're [kind of, but not really] having fun!