Deployment Sucks
I am a Navy Reservist's wife. My husband has a civilian employer. We both work for a health care sharing ministry. We go to work together everyday. We come home together everyday. We have coffee together every morning and dinner together every evening. We work together to get the kids to school in the morning. We work together to get them to all of their activities in the evenings and on weekends. If we are away from each other when we would normally be together, we miss each other. We are friends. We are madly in love. And after 13 years of marriage, 4 kids, 2 houses, and 3 separations courtesy of the USNavy, we still like each other and we enjoy spending time together.
But today I said good-bye. Today starts separation number four. Today he left for his third tour of duty. And it started just like any military spouse would expect. The car broke down in the airport parking lot. And I came home to a completely broken toilet. We now have one working toilet in the house (out of 4) and its in the master bathroom.
"Come on in, kids! Close your eyes on your way through my bedroom..."
Ten months. This time we'll be apart for 10 months. It doesn't seem real. I feel completely unprepared. I feel like I have completely procrastinated regarding anything having to do with deployment. I feel almost paralyzed. I know I have to go to work everyday. And somehow I have to make sure that all of my kids eat 3 meals a day. But beyond that, my brain seems to stop.
Numb.
Empty.
Stops... as in, if I ignore it, it'll go away.
Honestly, I'm never ready for this. Third tour, Forth time apart including boot camp and A school. Doesn't include, however, the countless long weekends still considered drill training and the two weeks a year that magically turned into 3 or 4 weeks, and somehow came more often that once a year.
I sleep on his side of the bed.
I drive his car, even when mine is working.
I hate going to church alone. And sitting alone.
I hate driving to work alone. And eating lunch alone.
I hate that I had to RSVP for one to the Christmas party.
It's no fun to cook for kids, cuz they don't appreciate it like he does.
But I love this...
Hebrews 6:19-20a We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf...
But today I said good-bye. Today starts separation number four. Today he left for his third tour of duty. And it started just like any military spouse would expect. The car broke down in the airport parking lot. And I came home to a completely broken toilet. We now have one working toilet in the house (out of 4) and its in the master bathroom.
"Come on in, kids! Close your eyes on your way through my bedroom..."
Ten months. This time we'll be apart for 10 months. It doesn't seem real. I feel completely unprepared. I feel like I have completely procrastinated regarding anything having to do with deployment. I feel almost paralyzed. I know I have to go to work everyday. And somehow I have to make sure that all of my kids eat 3 meals a day. But beyond that, my brain seems to stop.
Numb.
Empty.
Stops... as in, if I ignore it, it'll go away.
Honestly, I'm never ready for this. Third tour, Forth time apart including boot camp and A school. Doesn't include, however, the countless long weekends still considered drill training and the two weeks a year that magically turned into 3 or 4 weeks, and somehow came more often that once a year.
I sleep on his side of the bed.
I drive his car, even when mine is working.
I hate going to church alone. And sitting alone.
I hate driving to work alone. And eating lunch alone.
I hate that I had to RSVP for one to the Christmas party.
It's no fun to cook for kids, cuz they don't appreciate it like he does.
But I love this...
Hebrews 6:19-20a We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf...
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