Exceedingly, Abundantly, Beyond

The name of my blog is “Exceedingly Abundantly Beyond”. I named it as such for the verse Ephesians 3:20. And it says “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.”

Last week, I told of my struggles. I struggle with daily habits. I struggle because I’m not as young as I used to be. I struggle because after over 40 years on this earth, you’d think I would have developed better habits. Diet and exercise are discouraging. Finances are exasperating. And taking better care of my house seems fruitless in this stage of my life.

My biggest struggle right now is prayer. I think if I prayed in faith more, maybe the other areas would be less of a struggle. But I feel often like my prayers are hitting the ceiling. It seems like it doesn’t really matter what I pray for, God’s gonna do what God’s gonna do. And I have, at times, even been afraid to pray because it seemed that whatever I prayed for, the opposite would happen. What a terrible way to view talking to the one who is supposed to know and love and care about me the more than anyone else!

This week the Lord showed me that He has not forgotten about my little family. That He cares very much about my relationship with Derick! That prayer still works!  And that He is a good and generous God!

There is always a gap in Derick’s pay when he transitions from civilian job to active duty Navy. Five years ago, that gap was devastating. We had nothing. No food, no transportation and no money. Somehow we made it through the gap. I’m not sure how, it’s kind of a blur that I’d rather not remember.

This time, I have a job. This time we have food to eat. This time (inspire of my car breaking down in the airport parking lot) we have Derick’s car.  

But Thanksgiving is coming. And it looked like, in spite of having the time available, I wouldn’t get to see Derick over Thanksgiving like I wanted to. I knew that finances would be really tight! If I didn’t watch every penny, we’d have more month left than money!

But I prayed.

And in my heart, I just accepted not seeing Derick.

Maybe I just chalked it up to God’s will or maybe I just resigned myself to being broke at exactly the worst time, I’m not sure. But I prayed and asked for the Lord's provision. Mostly because I was lonely for Derick’s presence. Certainly not because I thought God would make the money magically appear!

But I missed Derick and I confessed that to my Aba Father.

What does faith look like anyway? Is it speaking out like a lunatic, proclaiming that the Lord has already given me what I want when he clearly hasn’t? Is it trying to convince myself in my head, that maybe God will give me my heart’s desire this time?  After all, I’ve been reading my Bible pretty regularly lately. I just need to believe more.

Or is it simply confiding in my daddy, knowing that he loves me and wants to bless me.  But also knowing he knows what’s best for me and his plans are always better than mine. No. Matter. What.

Why is that so hard to remember?  When my kids make requests, I want to say yes. I know that I can’t always say yes, because I see the big picture that they can’t see.  In times like these I would do well to remember Ephesians 3:20. He is ALWAYS ABLE to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all that I ask or could even imagine! That doesn’t mean he always will.

God did provide for me to go see Derick! He blessed me abundantly through some very unexpected and special people!  And I am even able to fly, thanks to their generosity, and the Lord’s provision of a plane ticket that wasn’t $900! I have terrible night vision! I was very nervous about driving alone in an unfamiliar area. And now I don’t have to!  

Three more days, Derick! I love you! I can’t wait to be in your arms again!

Thank you, God, for your generous provisions and for giving me my heart’s desire!