I will give you rest
I have been feeling the need, lately, to create margin in my life.
Margin, free time, time to myself, time to do what I want to do...
How do you create margin when there is no room? When all the things around me need to be done and there's already no time for the things I want to do.
Derick called on FaceTime last night. He asked me if everything is ok. What's wrong? ...nothing, everything, ...the same old things. Dirty house. kids with selective hearing, balancing work and home responsibilities. Missing the gym again...
Trying to be a good employee
Trying to be a good mom, chauffeur, housekeeper, chef...
Trying to be a good Christian...
Maybe I'm trying to hard.
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
What does that verse even mean? I have read that all my life. I have heard it in Sunday School. I have heard it from the pulpit. I have heard it on Christian radio and from Christian school teachers. And I have never been able to unpack those verses.
I read my Bible and I pray and I trust the Lord. And yet I am still tired and anxious.
It is so easy to tell others what they need to do, how they need to have faith. But how do I tell myself? How do I create margin? A margin where Jesus lives, where I find true rest in him?
There is a list of things that I'd like to do while Derick is gone. So far, I have done exactly none of them. In my head it should be easy. I know the steps that I need to take. I know the path. I know all the right words to say. But I live in the real world, not fantasy.
I need to clean my house, but I'm easily frustrated because I'm not the only one making the mess. My kids need to learn to clean the house. But as I said before, they have selective hearing.
I need to eat better. I need to stop eating junk. But that's hard when there's no "margin" left for grocery shopping.
I need to exercise more. It helps me burn off steam, it helps me stay in shape, and it helps me feel better mentally. But taking time to go to the gym, takes time away from other things.
(And please don't say "do a home work out". Working out in front of a TV is good for some people but it just makes me feel dumb...)
I need time to sit down and read my Bible. I need to take the time to pray on a daily basis. I remember a Christian speaker that I heard as a teenager. He drew a wheel with uneven spokes. Jesus was just one of many spokes. Obviously the wheel didn't work. Then he drew another wheel with even spokes, and Jesus was at the center of the wheel making everything turn properly. I always imagined that wheel was directly related to this verse in Matthew.
Maybe I've heard it too much. Heard the same things over and over and over again. Just give it to God. Just let God take control. Just lean on Jesus. Just trust the Lord. Just lean in. Let go and Let God. Jesus is all you need. He will take care of you, he will guide you.
I know all of those things. And I know they are true. I know that God is my protector and my provider. I know he loves me beyond my comprehension. I know he has a plan for my life and it is for good and not for evil.
But does that include having time to buy groceries for my family and wash their clothes once in a while? These are the things that I think about when it comes to actually creating margin in my life.
Margin, free time, time to myself, time to do what I want to do...
How do you create margin when there is no room? When all the things around me need to be done and there's already no time for the things I want to do.
Derick called on FaceTime last night. He asked me if everything is ok. What's wrong? ...nothing, everything, ...the same old things. Dirty house. kids with selective hearing, balancing work and home responsibilities. Missing the gym again...
Trying to be a good employee
Trying to be a good mom, chauffeur, housekeeper, chef...
Trying to be a good Christian...
Maybe I'm trying to hard.
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
What does that verse even mean? I have read that all my life. I have heard it in Sunday School. I have heard it from the pulpit. I have heard it on Christian radio and from Christian school teachers. And I have never been able to unpack those verses.
I read my Bible and I pray and I trust the Lord. And yet I am still tired and anxious.
It is so easy to tell others what they need to do, how they need to have faith. But how do I tell myself? How do I create margin? A margin where Jesus lives, where I find true rest in him?
There is a list of things that I'd like to do while Derick is gone. So far, I have done exactly none of them. In my head it should be easy. I know the steps that I need to take. I know the path. I know all the right words to say. But I live in the real world, not fantasy.
I need to clean my house, but I'm easily frustrated because I'm not the only one making the mess. My kids need to learn to clean the house. But as I said before, they have selective hearing.
I need to eat better. I need to stop eating junk. But that's hard when there's no "margin" left for grocery shopping.
I need to exercise more. It helps me burn off steam, it helps me stay in shape, and it helps me feel better mentally. But taking time to go to the gym, takes time away from other things.
(And please don't say "do a home work out". Working out in front of a TV is good for some people but it just makes me feel dumb...)
I need time to sit down and read my Bible. I need to take the time to pray on a daily basis. I remember a Christian speaker that I heard as a teenager. He drew a wheel with uneven spokes. Jesus was just one of many spokes. Obviously the wheel didn't work. Then he drew another wheel with even spokes, and Jesus was at the center of the wheel making everything turn properly. I always imagined that wheel was directly related to this verse in Matthew.
Maybe I've heard it too much. Heard the same things over and over and over again. Just give it to God. Just let God take control. Just lean on Jesus. Just trust the Lord. Just lean in. Let go and Let God. Jesus is all you need. He will take care of you, he will guide you.
I know all of those things. And I know they are true. I know that God is my protector and my provider. I know he loves me beyond my comprehension. I know he has a plan for my life and it is for good and not for evil.
But does that include having time to buy groceries for my family and wash their clothes once in a while? These are the things that I think about when it comes to actually creating margin in my life.
I found this video soon after Derick left for Afghanistan in 2014. It still fits today. I'm just worn...
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