Exceedingly Abundantly Beyond

Evenings are when I miss Derick the most. Evenings, when all of the responsibilities for the day are done.  When dinner is eaten and the kids are absorbed in their own activities.  When it's time to clean up and get ready for bed.  I can physically feel his absence. It's the company, and the help.  Derick's primary love language is physical touch and closeness.  Mine is acts of service.  Derick loves hugs from his kids, or holding hands with me in the car.  If someone in my family wants to tell me that they love me, I just want them to do their chores.  When I come home after work and the kids have done what I asked them to do, that speaks directly to my heart! Baseball season has started.  Derick's season with the kids.  This is the time of year that prompted me to step away from teaching cosmetology.  This is the time of year that I have been the most nervous about during this deployment.  My four children play on 5 bas...

It is rare that my kids will show me just exactly how much they miss their dad.  I know that they do.  But maybe I have inadvertently taught them to just tough it out.  I have been shown overwhelming support during this deployment.  There have been times during past deployments where I have felt like people thought it was good and noteworthy to help the lonely military spouse when Derick first left.  But as time wore on, we were forgotten.  And the struggles of doing life and taking care of kids became, glaringly, mine and mine alone. This time has been different.  This time as soon as that feeling of doing life alone creeps in, someone steps in and says they want to help.  My church set up a meal train for Monday nights for me and my kids.  Monday's are busy and its a struggle to get dinner on the table before 8:30.  This past Wednesday night, a friend dropped off a gift card for us to use for dinner on a Monday night. Honestly, s...

This is how Derick and I went to church together today.  He doesn't look very happy, but he was listening intently to the sermon, I promise!   Today I payed bills for the month of March.  I am generally the person in charge of the finances in our household.  Especially while Derick is away.  Derick earns the money.  I spend the money.   Well, maybe not exactly like that... Anyway, I was going down the list of bills, paying them, checking them off one at a time.  And then I came to my monthly Samaritan share.  For those of you that are members, yes, I realize that it's past the 15th.  For those of you that are not members, Samaritan is what my family uses for healthcare instead of insurance.  Yes, even instead of TriCare insurance that we could get through the Navy.   Every month I send my monthly share amount directly to another member.  Then that member uses my share, along with all the o...

I actually made it to the gym 5 times this week.  That has to be a record.  Five times!  In one week!  The reason that I go to the gym is for mental health.  Although I do love the idea of being stronger!  And Derick and I enjoy being active together.  When we were dating, he told me that he wanted a wife that enjoyed being active.  In the almost 15 years that we have known each other, we have played countless hours of catch, we have run hundreds of miles together and we have ridden probably a couple thousand miles on our bikes together.  Before he left, he was even teaching me to swim so that I could do triathlons again. This is our favorite activity to do together.  Biking.  Quality time and physical activity in one!  We have a dream of someday riding across the country together!  Maybe for our 20th anniversary... The last few years have been busy and stressful, so we have been less active that we'd like to ...

I had a team meeting at work yesterday. At this meeting we prayed, we read the scriptures, we talked about work things, we encouraged each other and then we prayed some more. I don't know if I have ever talked about my job, but I work at Samaritan Ministries.  I currently have a job that I thought I would never have.  I talk on the phone all day long. For 15 of my 24 adult years, I have been a cosmetologist.  I love all things hair, skin and nails.  And for a while I even taught other people to love hair, skin and nails.  Cosmetology is a career that I can have anywhere.  And no matter how bad things get, people will still need haircuts once in a while. But life sometimes throws curve balls.  And if you're not ready for them, you're gonna get hit. A curve ball came in the form of deployment.  We knew for probably 2 years that this deployment was coming. There is never anything set in stone when it comes to planning for a deployment. Wh...

I have been feeling the need, lately, to create margin in my life. Margin, free time, time to myself, time to do what I want to do... How do you create margin when there is no room?  When all the things around me need to be done and there's already no time for the things I want to do. Derick called on FaceTime last night.  He asked me if everything is ok.  What's wrong?  ...nothing, everything, ...the same old things.  Dirty house. kids with selective hearing, balancing work and home responsibilities.  Missing the gym again... Trying to be a good employee Trying to be a good mom, chauffeur, housekeeper, chef... Trying to be a good Christian... Maybe I'm trying to hard.  Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.  Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to b...

I'm not a dog person.  I have never been a dog person.  Somehow 6 years ago, Derick convinced me to get a dog.  And somehow that dog likes me best.  Then, 5 years later, we brought this tiny puppy home, thanks to my sister.  I am posting these pictures because it is so rare that I can snuggle my puppy!  Holding him and trying to snuggle is like trying to snuggle a 5 year old while walking through Disney World.  It's just not happening! I am also posting these because this puppy is comforting to me!  Today was a rough day.  This week was a rough week.  There were heartaches and disappointments and tough decisions to be made.  And a year ago, God knew that this puppy would be a comfort to me! Sometimes, it is impossible to put into words what it is that makes deployment so hard.  Honestly, it really isn't trying to do life without Derick here.  Derick leaves for training on a regular basis.  Anywh...

This morning I woke up to news articles about the Marines lost at sea.  The articles said that the search and rescue efforts have concluded and the official status for all five Marines has been changed to deceased.  Our friend, Daniel, is one of those Marines. In visiting with his parents last Saturday night, Duane asked that if I had any stories about Daniel, could I write it down and share it with them.  Derick and I knew Daniel mostly from the church bike trip that we all rode together.  Daniel and I rode together three times and Derick was with us 2 of those 3 years.   Three hundred miles on bicycles from Tremont, IL to the eastern side of Lake Michigan, and then a skeleton crew from Lake Michigan to just outside Ann Arbor, MI.  I felt like Derick and I were able to form a little bit of a bond with some of the young guys during that trip.  Especially with Daniel.  I told Derick last night, I remember riding with Daniel more than I...

Saturday night, I had a conversation with Derick.  I have been amazed at this deployment so far, that neither of us has been angry or resentful at the other person. Not at all!  Even on those days that I felt frozen in my tracks, clueless when it came to preparations. Sure, there were things that we could have done for each other to make life easier for this separation.  But, so far, we seem to have taken it all in stride. This is the fourth time Derick has been gone for an extended period of time.  And by extended, I mean more than 3 or 4 weeks.  The shortest time that he was gone, has been 5 months for boot camp and A school.  The longest was his deployment to Afghanistan for 11 months. This time he'll be gone for about 10 months.  Or at least that's what his orders say.  His deployments have never actually ended up the same as what the original orders say.  Its like waiting on a baby to be born on the due date... its pretty...

This week has been so busy. Not just busy, but inconvenient. Everyone has had to make adjustments. The washer is broken. I couldn’t even consider fixing it until now. And a broken washer seems to affect everything! But the Lord always takes care of us. And this week was no different. Thursday was a good example of that. I woke up with a sense of dread, an emptiness. And an acute awareness that Derick is not here. Of course I am aware of his absence everyday, but Thursday was different. Thursday I could physically feel his absence. My alarm sounds before the sunrise no matter the time of year. My dogs are whining and the coffee is brewing every morning, without fail, at a time that doesn’t exist in my family’s world. Mostly because I’ve discovered over the years, I’m just nicer to my kids if I’m up and going before them. Getting them out the door on Thursday, was the easy part. Nothing extraordinary. Their clothes were actually clean, in spite of my broken washer. The kids wen...

This weekend I had a wonderful opportunity to visit Derick on the Navy Base where he is stationed for training. I always feel at home with Derick on a Navy Base. As if that’s where we belong. There has never been any doubt between us, about Derick making a career out of the military. We have never questioned the Lord’s leading when it comes to the Navy. There are decisions in life that we whisper prayers over and hope we’re doing the right thing. There are decisions that we deliberate over for weeks. We really seek the Lord's wisdom and guidance. And pray the Lord’s blessing over the final decision we made.  And then there are those decisions in life that the Lord seems to make for us. The kind you cannot deny came from divine intervention. So much so, that to separate your life from that decision would be to deny God completely, defiantly raising a fist against Him who ordained this life. I can place my finger on two times that has happened in my life. The first is when ...

The name of my blog is “Exceedingly Abundantly Beyond”. I named it as such for the verse Ephesians 3:20. And it says “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.” Last week, I told of my struggles. I struggle with daily habits. I struggle because I’m not as young as I used to be. I struggle because after over 40 years on this earth, you’d think I would have developed better habits. Diet and exercise are discouraging. Finances are exasperating. And taking better care of my house seems fruitless in this stage of my life. My biggest struggle right now is prayer. I think if I prayed in faith more, maybe the other areas would be less of a struggle. But I feel often like my prayers are hitting the ceiling. It seems like it doesn’t really matter what I pray for, God’s gonna do what God’s gonna do. And I have, at times, even been afraid to pray because it seemed that whatever I prayed for, the opposite w...