Half a Person

It's 10:20 pm on Sunday night.  Today seemed to be a pretty good day, albeit long, with the time change.  Nothing in particular really set me off. 

I went to church. 

Went to a meeting about Bike Trip. 

Went to a retirement party for my brother's father-in-law. 

My sister's family came over and we had Avanti's for dinner. 

I did my sister's hair.

But when everyone started to leave, Aida and I both just went into meltdown mode. Aida cried herself to sleep tonight.  I just cried til everyone else went to sleep. Little things that make me feel like half a person.  And each thing builds on top of the previous thing. 

Always being the driver, never the passenger. 

Kids that don't listen to mom, and dad's not here to set 'em straight. 

Not having someone to go to the grocery store for me, when I forgot to do it earlier in the day. 

Kids messing with my sewing notions and leaving them all over the floor. 

Being alone at night after all the kids are in bed. 

In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal.  But right now, in this moment, I feel so completely overwhelmed! 

I know the feeling will pass...

Psalm 30:5 - For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime.  Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. 

Sometimes it's so difficult to apply scripture to myself and my own life. 

And sometimes it's easier to sit here and keep crying.  

Maybe I'll take that to bed with me, because I certainly don't feel joyful right now!  The tears might last all night, but JOY comes in the morning.  

A funny picture of Facetiming Derick 😊 He always makes me laugh.  Just another thing I miss!