I still have Christmas lights on my house

I still have Christmas lights on my house.  This is a picture of my house tonight.  It is a very windy, chilly night, and I ran out of toilet paper.  Not cool... not cool at all.  Anyway, I took Brody and ran to Hy-Vee to buy tp and this is what my house looked like when I came home.  I find Christmas lights to be such a comfort.  They're so welcoming!  

I'm not a photographer, and this was shot with my phone.  I'm sure there are 101 ways to make this image look as awesome or better than it does in real life.  I'm just the makeup artist.  

Or the porch decorator.

This was one of the last major projects that Derick and I did together.  These lights were a major accomplishment for us.  He even made a special trip back to Lowe's when I accidentally stapled through the wire and half of the lights went out.  Oops!  

If you've seen my FaceTime pictures of him that I have posted, you know that our conversations are very one-sided these days.  He calls on FaceTime so that he can look at my face and hear my voice.  Hear what is going on in Peoria, in Illinois, in the United States.  There is really nothing that he can tell me about where he is and what he is doing.  

I know that he made it safely to Afghanistan about two weeks ago.  I know that his job is very important.  And I know that he works behind a desk, on a computer.  Because he is an IT guy, (even though his rate says Builder), so that came as no surprise!  Beyond that I know nothing.  

That's probably one of the hardest things during this deployment.  We cannot keep secrets from each other.  We have never been able to keep secrets from each other.  Good or bad.  So, to go from sharing absolutely everything, to not even being able to ask, "How was your day?" has been really hard on me! 

I have been so emotional since I came back from my last visit to Mississippi.  It felt like I was starting the deployment process completely from scratch at that point.  All the problems, and emotions, and thoughts... everything, really.  

Very weepy.  I told a few friends that I keep waiting for the day to come that I don't feel ready to break down!  I know it will come.  It always does.  It's just not today.  Might not be tomorrow either.  

God is faithful!  He always is!  

On the days when I don't want to get out of bed.  

God is faithful!

On the days when my two hands are not enough.  

God is faithful!

On the days when I really need to be in two places at once.

God is faithful!

On the days when I don't get to talk to Derick at all.  

God is faithful!

On the days when I have taken my frustrations out on my kids, in stead of taking them to Jesus feet.  

God is faithful!

On the days when I just don't care that the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner.

God is faithful!

It will eventually soak in.  I will eventually remember that God is faithful.  God is good!  All the time!

In the mean time, I'll keep looking at my Christmas lights.  They are a reminder to me of the peace that Christmas brings.  And they represent a sweet memory of my husband working along side me to decorate the house, because I really wanted it so.